As I used to practice meditation before here and there, some simple mediation techniques (like 20 minutes of some verbal or visual repetitions, breathing control etc), and have read some books about it (all of them saying meditation to be done under supervision of teacher), decided to look for opportunity... And as natural break came to my business life, I blew dust from my "TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE" list, first thing in the morning that day, I googled for "meditation course"... after an hour or so I have signed up for 10 days meditation course in Latvia (as I afterwards realized done once a year only in Latvia), for sure, not understanding what I am up to...
I did not have a clue about different schools, versions, depth levels of meditation, and I did not have a clue about the one, I am about to learn, but I hoped it will be good enough to "fix my brain around back.."...
ARRIVAL.
Here I was, opening day on the course, packed for 10 full days of meditation, in the middle of the Latvia forest and together with other 40 or so students (20 male, 20 female, both genders living life of their own in the camp, meeting each other only in the meditation hall, where there also were 2 separate entrances for both sex) being introduced to all rules of the meditation camp:
- staying for all 10 days (in fact, this was the most scary part during that sign-up period..)
- "noble silence" - no talking, gestures with other students, no any telephones, media, books, even a piece of paper, all for "silence of mind" (now this seemed interesting, but afterwards, clearly difficult to follow...)
- no killing, no sex, no stealing, no lying, no intoxication - (actually, for 10 days, this seemed good deal, and as found out during the course, this was the easiest part, as there were no real chance of breaking any of those prescripts...).
- you only make donation you can afford at the end of the course, if you found it useful. No other charges involved.
After review of those principles, looking into faces of people, that I am about to entrust my life for 10 days, I decide to sign-up, or else, it would not be me, quitting at this point..
MEDITATION.
Daily schedule seemed perfect for a man looking for a "kick of fresh air to the brain":
Wake-up 4:00, meditations for 11 hours, couple of hours to contemplate, relax, breakfast 6:30, lunch 11:00, dinner 17:00, and 1,5 hour of "discourse", which in fact was explanation of technique on one hand and "selling of buddhism" on other hand, although at the end, I have to admit, that Christians (like me, catholic) or any other religion believers were encouraged to stay with their religion, if they are really devoted to it...
Food was great, obviously no meat served, although I missed coffee the most... Dinners served at 5pm, usually 2 pieces of fruit, proved to be excellent way of improving one's fitness and energy level..
For "office animal" like me, without real serious preparations (basically sitting still on the floor for 1 hour periods) and accumulated office disease - back pain, meditation turned into torture on the third day, and only kind tolerance by teacher, who saw my tortures and learned that I am on pain-killers, helped me to stay on the course. Teacher allowed to use wall to relax back, and this way gave me the chance to go on. It does not mean that tortures were gone, but at least pain was bearable, and think could go on..
Meditation technique, in short and simple, was in 2 parts. First (Anapana) focused on observing breathing, while second (Vipassana) focused on sensations (observing sensations in the body, and staying calm and balanced despite pleasant of unpleasant feelings). Developed by Buddha himself, as a way to en-lightening, while not fully understood by me, it was delivering results it is promising to deliver - more clarity and control of your mind. And for me, it surprisingly delivered on the objective of "cleaning my back" from the unforgiving that I have accumulated there... I was having only warm feelings (not sure if that was love, but surely not disliking) towards any of the people that I have had some "hurt feelings" in the past...
DEPARTURE AND CONCLUSIONS.
On the 10th day students were allowed to talk... what a fire-work of talking that was! Every-one was talking to anyone, just to enjoy talking... And while most of students were much better prepared for that course (engaged in some martial arts or serious practitioners of meditation in past, and many of them coming already for 2nd, 3rd time) all seemed happy about the results of the course. In fact me too, despite the fact, that i am pretty sure I will not repeat this experience again (not because of physical pains, but because of realization, how deeply one enters the world of mind during these meditations, and how powerful, yet dangerous that is...
Now few conclusions:
1) it does help to clean-up your mind. for me it meant 2 things:
i) I was able to forgive,
ii) I realized in fact contemplating and observation of life is not for me, while real life is.
3) it is physically demanding, so one needs to be ready for pain and be in relatively good shape
4) if you have strong devotion to your religion, or you have no devotion, then you can survive the Buddhism piece, as "advertising" is pretty pushy there
5) one better to make it clear before joining such course, what exactly he/she expects, and decides, if that is really for them.
6) it is great way to realize impact of food/diet on your fitness and energy level.